My boyfriend and I are virgins and we want to have sex. We know how to be safe-we have condoms and I'm on the pill. However, we have attempted a few times and he keeps going down and it's hard for him bc it happened to him with his first (and only other) girlfriend. He really wants to do it with me, but his lack of confidence is making ME feel less confident. When I talk about it he says "yeah that'd be great..if we ever do" it just brings me down. I know he's nervous of messing up again. I wish he would slow down I tell him we need foreplay and he'll do like a few things that don't even get me turned on and he's like okay time to put it in. I'm like nope that can't happen. I tell him what I like and what he needs to do but he gets ahead of himself then neither of us feel good about it and i tense up and he stresses. How do I get him to really slow down and gain his confidence back; realizing the importance of going into sex with a good mindset and doing things slow n gradually till I get to a point where i feel comfortable enough to let him in me?