Hi all,

I was just wondering of others experience in something...my partner and I are getting married next year. It's something I've wanted for a long time and wanted ahead of having a family, where possible but not essential! :-) My partner did say he wasn't up for a big wedding but when it came down to it to have it in our home town meant having all family and friends at 80 ppl. For me I thought that was fine and he did agree to it even though he found it a bit uncomfortable. Recently it's been playing on his mind a lot - the whole day, the attention, the photos, the saying I do in front of 80 ppl and then the speech. His anxiousness has gone through the room and recently he confessed that he isn't excited at all about the day at all - he says he can't wait to marry me and start a family but he doesn't think or get excited (but horribly down and anxious about the day). I barely consult him on its organisation any more. I feel incredibly selfish putting him through it but it's come somewhat too late as it's been organised and some paid for (not all) and the invites sent. But I think this is more than just pre-wedding nerves and our wedding is a number of months away so it's a long build up of feeling this way...

I wondered if anyone else has faced similar issues and whether you have any advice...

What did you do to support? How did it go on the day? Did you change anything? Do I genuinely look into altering the day bearing in mind our invites have gone out. I wondered if it was over the top to try and change anything and instead work on his anxiety somehow. I hate to say I feel let down/disappointed but I do - this is what I've always wanted and I know it's selfish to say it and I am trying my best to understand and help - I've suggested how to try and cope - making sure he's surrounded by his groomsmen on the day, having a pre-meet with our photographer, fore-going his speech etc. I'm just not sure how far to take it - part of me knows as well once we're actually married he'll have such a good and happy day and further once the speeches are done (ahead of the meal) he can fully relax but none of this seems to help and he plays no role in the wedding organisation - which I know isn't abnormal but in terms of even just having an opinion or keeping an eye on the budget.

It feels good to write this and get my own feelings out a bit but I welcome any advice or support that would help him or me to be honest.

Thank you

X