I'm a FTM and I admit I was overtly confident about breastfeeding when I was pregnant.

When my son was born at the end of July 2017, I was in for a rude awakening when the nurse on night shift told me that I needed to work harder at trying to feed my son or he was at higher risk for jaundice (apparently me having O+ blood is also a risk factor). He also lost 10% of his birth weight by discharge. The nurse was very no-nonsense and I hated her at the time; thinking back, I think she was exactly what I needed.

My nipples hate me. One is flat and the other is inverted; my son was not interested in latching around either one of them. 🙅🏽

I also noticed that he seemed to have a tongue tie; I asked the pediatrician on call and she said he has a wide range of motion so the tie is considered mild and shouldn't interfere with breastfeeding. I wasn't convinced - Google was telling me otherwise. 🤦🏽‍♀️

I wanted to exclusively breastfeed. Before my son was born there was no question in my mind that formula was a forbidden entity. The nurse convinced me that a fed child was what I should aim for at the time; I reluctantly agreed to let her bring us formula.

I stayed up for three nights after going home, getting maybe 6 hours of sleep (total, not each night) over four days. I was up hand expressing and electric pumping so I didn't need to feed my baby formula. It was never enough - he always wanted more than I could express in two hours.

Every feeding I would sit with him in my lap, trying not to let my tears hit his tiny body as I supplemented with formula. 😖

On the fourth afternoon after going home I attended my first breastfeeding clinic. The lactation consultant was a godsend - she tried to help latch baby normally (no luck) and then gave me a Medela nipple shield. My son took to the shield immediately - he was breastfeeding! 😀

After class I wasn't able to get baby to feed; I pulled out the formula, crying again. The next day was the same.

Miraculously, two days after my breastfeeding clinic my son figured out how to latch again! 🙏🏽 We've been going strong since then and I'm thankfully producing plenty of milk.

I've even managed to "bait and switch" - use the shield to have baby suck out my nipple, quickly remove the shield and shove freed nipple into his mouth. He managed to feed a few times using this technique, however he gets frustrated so I'm avoiding pushing him too much.

This ended up being a much longer post than I planned. I just wanted to share so other mothers going through this know there are options.

Note:

Yes, I've heard of people who hate nipple shields because they believe their milk supply went down after using them. Maybe, maybe not. So far I'm producing milk to the point of leaking through layers of clothing. Maybe that will change later, but I will deal with that situation if it arises.