I don't know what to do. So many tears of frustration has been shed on this topic and I'd like to see if there are others out there who share this problem.

I've been married for 6 years, with my husband for 10. I'll be 30 in October. I've never wavered in telling husband that I wanted children and he has never had a doubt about my wishes. I've been ready for a long time but I've respected my husbands wishes to wait due to our financial hardship at the time.

Three years ago, he almost died and he suddenly changed from wanting to wait to not knowing if he wants kids AT ALL. This utterly broke my heart bc he is my soul mate and I didn't know what I'd do if he said he didn't want kids.

I know I'm meant to be a mother.

Luckily, and thanks to some well needed counseling, he has changed his position but now we are stuck in this limbo where he tells everyone on the outside "soon" "it's on the table" or "we're working on it", when in reality, we aren't.

He unfortunately suffers from delayed ejaculation and low testosterone (cherry on top, right?) so, when we are intimate and I make the suggestion that we should "try" he suddenly feels pressured to perform and can't finish (bc of the delayed ejaculation).

I don't know what the hell Im supposed to do. I want to believe him, but sometimes it's really hard to believe it when he says he wants to still have kids.

Don't get me wrong, he is an amazing husband and partner. He works incredibly hard for us and after years of struggle, has found his perfect job and is providing for us amazingly (I won't go into detail, but he also has a brain injury from 12 years ago which caused this struggle and is also currently causing the low testosterone).

His current stance is that now, we are doing well for ourselves financially and he wants to enjoy it... and also the prospect of turning our lives upside down with a child terrifies the crap out of him. *sigh*

This issue doesn't make me love him less, just frustrates me bc I feel like there a baby shaped hole in my life.

If you've read this far, thank you. I'm just looking for some support. Someone who has maybe had a partner who waffles like this and has caused this emotional roller coaster. Maybe I'm looking for someone to tell me it's going to be alright.

I don't know.

Keep your fingers crossed for me, I guess.