destroyed

is it possible to be mentally destroyed from a year in a tereible abusive relationship? my ex beat on me, told me every day he didnt care about me anymore and that he hated who i was. told me he was going to go sleep with someone else every single day. and if i tried to talk about how i felt hed tell me to stfu, if i cried im annoying him , made a fool of me to his friends and anyone around him by saying things like im obsessed and annoying and how hes tried to get me out of his life forever now but i wont leave, but if i did leave hed nonstop message me and tell me its my fault if i dont come back and i ruined the relationship and have one more chance to come back& all this shit. he has cheated numorous times, i have never not one time cheated . i did him wrong one time in the whole 2 years weve been together and left him for my ex, but that is all ive ever done. im not on social media because of him, he talks shit about my family, the child in my stomach& me constantly. he wakes up hating me so much and i cry daily asking what i can do to fix it. but i think i have lost myself now& i dont know how to fix it. i was never aloud with my friends. now he yells at me to go be with my one friend lexi, & i dont even want to . i dont want to do anything anymore and its been like this for months. i dont even explain my situation to people anymore and now is the one time ive reached out since a very long time ago& if i wasnt pregnant i dont think i would be this concerned for myself but i know im not ok anymore.