Warning this post will be extremely long***
Okie dokie so i met my amazing boyfriend Kyle in 8th grade. We dated for 6 months then broke up unfortunately when high school started. I was soooo heart broken. He was my first love and that was my first heart break. I didnt understand what sadness and depression was until Kyle left me. I was always so happy! Anyway, days after him & i met someone else, Cameron, and we were friends for a pretty long time and then he started to like me. I remember always telling myself that i would never be in a relationship with him and that he's gross blah blah blah. Months later he somehow got me to fall in love with him and then we started dating for 1 year and 4 months. We broke up literally a year ago today. It sucked. Once again. I was depressed for sooo long. Up until April-ish. My mother had moved again closer to my school and i was able to take the bus to her house whenever i wanted. (i live with my dad) and her bus ended up being the same bus as Kyle's! Rewind a couple months before that i switched out of Chemistry and into these two easy science classes and Kyle was in one of them.. Ok now fast forward.. One day after school i thought to myself "I should see if Kyle would want to meet halfway" cause he lives soooooooooo close to my mom! So we did and we hung out the rest of the day and i already knew we both were still in love and i know he knew too. Days went by and we just kept hanging out after school. Then, his mother forced Kyle & me to go to junior prom together so we did. It was cute cause we also went to the 8th grade dance. Let me tell you... That night at prom.. I instantly fell DEEPLY in love again. I was so happy, it was definitely one of the best nights of my life. Then more days/weeks went by and we started dating again on May 29. At first i was very confused and couldnt tell if i wanted to be something again. Only because i had gave Kyle 5 other chances in 9th grade so i thought what would be different this time? I was also still madly in love with Cameron. But i just went with the flow and continued dating him. Call us crazy but literally a week later we both lost our virginities to each other... I saved my virginity for someone special and someone who meant a lot to me and i'm verrry happy it got to be Kyle. I didn't want it to be just anyone. Yeah we were dating for a week but we have known each other for so long. Throughout the whole summer we saw each other almost everyday no joke and we were happier than ever. But i don't know. I feel like i'm getting tired of him and it makes me sad cause i know he could never get tired of me😭 He recently got his license so now we see each other E V E R Y D A Y. I understand that's not good trust me lol i have brought it up to him MANY!!!! times. He doesn't care. Everytime i try to say something about it he always tries to make me feel bad. "What do you mean???" "How don't you like seeing your boyfriend everyday?" "I could see you for the rest of my life" But he also doesn't realize this is causing us to fight and bicker at each other a lot. Keep in mind me and kyle NEVER fight. Or used to. He's just getting really annoying to me. He's also very fucking touchy. Like sooo touchy. It bothers me. And it hurts me that he doesn't even care either because i have said something 1 too many times and he still doesn't listen. I like to have sex. I don't like to have sex every single day. But of course since he's a guy he could have it 24/7. I've also told him that too but he stillllll always seduces me and gets me to have sex with him. It's just so nerve wracking too cause the pregnancy scares. I am on birth control but i had to stop for like a week because of something (it's a long ass story) and i can't get back on it until i get my period lol and it's late! Soooo the main reason i'm writing this all is because i feel as if i want to leave him. Or take a break. SOMETHING because i can't do this anymore. His head is so far up my ass & it's frustrating !