Words you never want to hear


Miscarriage. Chemical pregnancy. Non stick. Common medical issue.

As some of you may seen, on august 18th I posted an announcement. Yay! I got not just 1 but 2 positive pregnancy test over 3 days! After 9 months of trying. Woo! And the. I took another on Sunday, digital this time and wooo! The word YES + came right up!

But then something happened, I had an extra generic double line first response test and wanted to compare the darker lines to the ones I had taken on Friday the 18th.. and nothing... went and bought more test... nothing.

I sit here today, Thursday the 22nd and after about 17 calls with my doctor, 1 blood test and some serious bleeding later I'm coming to the realization.. I'm not having a baby yet.

"Common" "non viable" "didn't stick" those are some of the words my doctor just through out there over the phone like I was just supposed to brush it off. I had a chemical pregnancy. WHAT. I've never even heard of that until now..

I understand medically that this pregnancy wasn't what I thought it was. But to me, for days, I was going to be a mom. I was planning, downloading apps, looking at cute ways to announce when it was time, a Pinterest board was created. And now I'm casually being told over the phone "it's common and has probably happened before you just didn't know, you're now going to get your period" like it's. Or supposed to upset me or I'm supposed to just understand what's happened and be okay with it.

I'm not.

I'm broken...

I'm sorry if this wasn't the right board to post this on..