This is for everyone who has become irrational over something small during pregnancy.

We have my daughters first birthday on Saturday and I ordered several decorations from Etsy. I got some confetti balloons, ONE ballon, plates, napkins, and straws. I received everything with the exception of the straws. Like any normal person I check the tracking and it says it's been delivered. I'm the only person who gets the mail and I can assure you I'm straw-less. So I message her and point out I see it's been received I just don't actually have them. She tells me it's not in their budget to send me another $11 in straws and that they're not responsible for human error (ie mail man dropped it or delivered it wrong.) Well guess what lady, I'm psycho pregnant lady. So what do I do? I respond nicely but basically tell her she's an awful human and that I believe in karma. I can only hope that for her next event someone tells her $11 is not in their budget and her party is ruined.

So then I send these text to my friends:

I remember the irrational emotions that come along with being pregnant. I basically just flashed on someone selling me straws through Etsy. I never received them, she's telling me I did, and that she's not responsible for human error (ie mailman dropped it). Well guess what bitch, I'll fucking kill your parakeet. Take my 11 and go buy yourself some poison to put in your wine. I FUCKING HATE YOU.

HEY PS IM PREGNANT AND PSYCHO DONT FUCK WITH ME.

I laughed at myself over how mad I got. Like I filed a complaint and immediately Etsy was like "complaint had been resolved, you received your package 😄"

NO I FUCKING DIDNT YOU STUPID ASSHOLES, IM FUCKING STRAWLESS!!!! STRAWLESS!

I need my caps to have different sizes.