I know this is a topic were its either "no i don't want my man to do it i consider it cheating" or "its fine. its natural its okay as lone as blah blah blah" well Im one who considers it cheating....

and I need people honest advice to be afraid to be rude tell me how it is how you'd act.

so my husband and I have been together for 2 years I have 2 kids from a previous relationship that he raises as his own and we have a 9 month old together and Im 9 weeks pregnant.

so since the very beginning his know that my biggest fear/concern/ thing that would hurt me besides actually cheating with a real women is watching Porn. now we will watch Porn together just fine. but without me and him jacking off is a nono. I found out he was doing it about 5 months into our relationship. big fight/make up swore had never do it again. fast forward to a couple months later found out again.

fast forward to 4 months after I had last baby same thing big fight and make up swore hed never do it again. fast forward to know fast forward to now. I just found out hes doing it again and he admitted it after I told him I knew. hes apologized and said he sorry he didn't tell me because he loved me blah blah.......what do i do? I love this man.

but he knows that it HURTS me and I take it to heart and it hurts for months and months. it never really goes away. Im sitting here 9 weeks pregnant holding in my tears heart broken feeling gross and ugly and fat. I haven't had sex with him in 3 weeks besides twice because Im fatigued from pregnancy and breastfeeding and taking care of three children among other things. I have no where else to go and I do love him but what do I do. I already hold this against are relationship and it causes no trust and Im tired of being hurt and I just know hell do it again....other than this hes an amazing man helps with kids and cleaning and cooking....its just the Porn....please tell me what you would do cause right now I've locked myself in the bathroom after him admitting to it. I do not know what to. do...I know my spelling is all fucked but Im upset and I could care less.