I need advice ... I love my husband very much .. I had a miscarriage in July but got pregnant immediately after opk was positive on July 31st .... and just lost another baby at 5 weeks 2 days so within three months I've had two miscarriages :(

I feel completely numb . And I've been super distant towards my husband don't even know what to talk about ... I was so happy and felt so good about this time . I spent all night just bawling my eyes out ... then the next day I passed the baby and since then I've felt super depressed ... how do I deal with this ? And how do I stop pushing my husband away? He doesn't fully understand what this is like and how hard it is for me. As he's never been through this . Doesn't help that we're also going through some financial stress at the moment too ... but that's about to be sorted out from a new job he took . I just feel so blah. Two times in a row and I want a baby so bad with him. I honestly don't even know why I'm pushing him away .. I've hardly spoken to him and I just don't know what to say. It's making him distant now too which is just making things worse . Wondering if anyone else has been through similar ? Or has advice ?

Thanks.