Going crazy

I took two tests yesterday (top) which were negative and I took one today (very bottom) and I think I see a faint line? Does anyone else? I feel so embarrassed because my logic is telling me that nothing is actually there, but my heart is telling me it is.

I literally feel like I am going crazy. I have been trying to conceive for 13 months. I really have no one to talk too about it. Everyone says it will happen when it is meant to be, or "I never tried to have any of my kids.." I hate it. I literally can't help but test almost everyday. Every little symptom I think I am pregnant. We bd often especially during fertile time. Everyone around me acts like I'm crazy because I am so hurt every month when I see a negative result. People say it will happen when it happens, including my so, which is so frustrating because that could be years from now! (He doesn't say it in a hurtful way.. he just wants to try and help me feel better)

I don't even know how many more months I can keep trying, I feel like it is only hurting myself. Why do this to myself?

I will test again, of course I will because I am obsessed, literally... but hoping this is it!! Praying.