Every time you need someone to talk to, I'm there for you. Every time you need someone to keep you alive, I'm there for you. Every time you need someone to stop you from hurting yourself, I'm there for you.

I love you all unconditionally. Truly. You're the brothers and sisters I never had.

But it seems that love is one-sided.

Every time I need someone to talk to, you're never there. Every time I need someone to keep me alive, you're never there. Every time I need someone to stop me from hurting myself, you're never there.

Why?

Am I worthless to you?

I've wondered for years why the people I thought were my closest friends never try to keep me alive or from hurting myself except when I'm in the process of it. When I'm in the process of an attempt on my own life, suddenly you care. Or when I'm in the middle of ripping my skin apart with a razor, suddenly you care.

Why is it that you only care when I'm too far gone?

I was 165 days clean. Was.

The one time I asked for help, the one time I needed someone to stop me, every single one of you told me you were "busy", though your social media posts said otherwise. The one one I needed help, you all abandoned me.

Well no more.

I'm sick of the one-sided love, the one-sided support. If you need a shoulder to cry on, find someone else. If you need help stopping yourself from hurting yourself, find someone else.

I'm tired of being the person you run to when you need somebody, because when I need you you never care.

You want me to love all of you again?

Show me that you care.

Stop leaving me alone on purpose when it's clear I shouldn't be by myself.

Stop leaving me alone when it's clear I'm on the verge of taking my life. Or on the verge of taking a sharp object to my wrists.

I'm one day clean.

Because the one time I asked any of my so-called "friends" for help you turned your backs on me.

I can't believe I called any of you my family.

Sincerely,

A Suicidal Abused 15 Year Old Boy (yes I'm back, it's sad)