My husband and I haven’t really wanted children. When he was younger he wanted them, but before he met me he changed his mind for some reason. I think it has a lot to do with his poor relationship with his own father.

Personally though, I’ve never wanted children. I can remember even at the age of 5, declaring I would never have children. I spent my youth helping raise my many cousins and they made it even more clear that I did not want children.

We’ve been together almost a decade and had an unplanned pregnancy and lost it. He recently told me that he wanted to speak to his new therapist (he just started therapy) about why he doesn’t want kids and I just said okay, it sounded like a good idea. But recently it seems like we’ve been saying things like “our kids will....our kids won’t.... when we have kids we....” which in the past if one of us said this we’d quickly say “but we’re not having kids”

We recently had a pregnancy scare and didn’t freak out like before. Tonight he was talking to our dog and said “my daughter” and was being very loving like always so I said “maybe we wouldn’t be awful parents. I mean, we’re very loving to our dogs. Very affectionate” he cut me off and said “hell you even prep and cook them a fully organic and balanced diet...” and then he told me “but not right now. We need to get healthy and lose weight first” (we’re both slightly chunky).

I just feel like.... maybe his mind is changing. And I feel like I’m having a change of heart but my mind isn’t sold.

What if he decides he wants a baby one day and I’m still not ready? I’m 28 and he’s 32. It’s not like we’re getting younger. Has anyone gone through this? I mean, it’s not a simple thing like he wants a cat and I don’t. Having a kid is HUGE.