Do you believe it's okay to force decisions on your kids?

Question

To preface this, I posted something similar the other day that I deleted because I realized it broke some rules. I changed this one up but if it still is breaking rules, feel free to let me know. I'm not talking about decisions that won't necessarily impact their life. For example, on an episode of 16 and Pregnant, the mother forced the daughter to give her child up for adoption and telling her she would not live there if she kept the baby and basically pushed adoption on her the whole time and wouldn't let her even have a baby shower because it was celebrating. How do you feel about forcing life-changing decisions on your child?

Accepted Answer

If my kid doesn't want veggies for dinner, well sht he better sit there until they're eaten.

Answer

I haven't seen that episode, but I'm going to say no. Getting pregnant is a major life change. In most cases it's the most serious decision a teen has had to make in their lives. The parent should sit them down and go through their options: adoption, keeping the baby, and abortion. They should help them list the pros and cons of each and never force the decision. That's just going to breed resentment and strain their relationship.
I also don't believe in forcing things like where to go to college, what sports and activities to participate in,'what to major in, being vegan vs. not, where to live after college, etc. I don't think that's a sign of a healthy relationship. Our kids aren't here for us to live vicariously through as mini versions of ourselves. They're autonomous people with their own goals and preferences and we need to respect that.

Answer

In our home we have certain rules and standards that we live by that have an affect on our decisions. Our children will grow up knowing the rules and why we have them. 
As long as my children are under my roof I feel that I have a certain amount of say in any decisions that they make.

Answer

If a mom says to her kid that she will not have her at her house because she got pregnant I think that's reasonable. 
The girl had the option to either leave a house that's not hers because she suddenly became an adult OR give up for adoption and keep living with mommy. She chose one, if she really wanted the baby she would have left. That's how I see it. She can't say "my mom MADE me do it, I had NO choice" because she actually does have control over things like this. Her mom couldn't have signed off the papers of her own child (correct me if I'm wrong). 
 
To answer your question, NO. Parents should not force their kids into anything if they don't have the power to do what they want. In that case, the girl could have packed her things and left. That's how I see it.

Answer

In this case, no it's certainly not ok. But sometimes kids choices are not good choices that will be or have the potential to be incredibly damaging. Or are just stupid/general teenaged behaviour. Such as a kid deciding to do drugs, refusing to study or quitting school. There are certain choices teenagers/children may want to make, by as they often still need guidance their choices aren't good ones. And then of course their parent should step in and ensure they're making good choices. That's the job of a parent. 
In this case, no because it's a choice that the parent of this child gets to make. Meaning the daughter gets to decide what happens to her baby- not the grandparent making that decision. Unless the daughter is incapable of making this kind of choice, such as having some sort of condition where she cannot care for her child herself and the grandparent would be the caregiver, then the parent to that child gets to make the choice.

Answer

If it's minus -6 and your 3 year old kid refuses to wear a jacket then yes it's okay, if it's you 18 year old that no longer wants to eat spaghetti then no

Answer

I dont think thats right. But I come from a culture that takes care of family. no question. even if it isnt ideal. You dont put your blood out on the street for very many reasons (there are some) . If my 16 year old gets pregnant she decides. and I support her in her choice, as it is her body and her child. if she wants to keep it, Yep ima help her, and so would her dad, and other family members, so she could finish school, or go to work.

Answer

That is disgusting, i think i saw that episode? Not sure but forcing adoption is vile.

Answer

I'm pretty sure it's not legal to kick a child out of your house if they're a minor. So the mom shouldn't have done that. Because yknow....being a parent means caring for your kids.

Answer

Why did she want a baby shower if she was giving up the baby for adoption? Just asking. I must have missed that episode and the entire season for tbat matter

Do you believe it's okay to force decisions on your kids?

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