how will i find my husband ?

Question

hello beautiful sisters. i've always asked people irl this question and no one can answer this for me. how will i find a husband when it is haram to date???? i'm not going to have an arranged marriage as my parents do not want that for me. 
but they're also strict on dating (even though they dated???). i asked a brother at the masjid who was my teacher and he told me as long as no sexual contact is made it's okay/if they're muslim it's fine. so what is the truth lol i'm so confused???

Answer

Hello. Here are some suggestions. 
If you have someone in mind and the connection is mutual, have that person approach your parents. Expressing interest doesn't mean engagement or marriage. If things don't workout the agreement is over. No negative connotation on you or him.
Have a third person between you even via text. My husband and I met as acquaintances. When we realized we were developing a strong friendship, we had his Mom or sister in a group chat. From the beginning we both expressed our desire to engage in a halal manner.
Online "dating" apps are common nowadays. Don't shy away from them. Make sure they reflect your beliefs. 
Ask friends to keep you in mind if they know someone that's compatible for you. I'm keeping an eye our for my brother in law and my husband is looking out for my brother. 
Participate in youth activities or volunteer activities at your mosque. In my town they have an active group as well as the community college. However in my husband's hometown they don't have anything. Look up pages on IG of movements you're interested in that promote Islamic lifestyle and see where people your age gather or engage and place yourself there. I know a couple that met on IG through photography. Another couple met by accident through K-Pop.

Answer

I'm quite surprised that a masjid teacher would say that dating is fine. I have honestly never heard a scholar say that dating is fine.
In all honesty, the best way to find a spouse in Islam is through an arranged marriage. It doesn't have to be as rigid and serious as it sounds. If you have someone in mind already, just get your parents to speak and set up a meeting at your place or a coffee shop or something. You really shouldn't be interacting with a guy on your own because unfortunately sometimes we put on our best impressions with dating and can be fooled easily.
I didn't have anyone who would look for a spouse for me. My parents don't interact with the community as they have mental health problems, and there was no-one to search on my behalf. So I went on an online marriage website. Alhumdulillah, I found my husband through that which I don't regret at all. But I regret searching for my spouse by myself. It's not an ideal situation for a woman and even that I'm not sure was Islamically correct. We kept our interactions strictly with the intention to get to know each other for marriage and spoke by text, never by phone. We also never met in person except with family present.
Try your best to keep interactions halal and strictly for the intention for marriage, so inshaAllah you will have a blessed start together. In your situation, I would first try the arranged marriage route as that means that a background check is done on your potential spouse and you have confirmation of their personal information like age, job etc. before even meeting them. After a meeting or two, if you would both like to go ahead then your families are aware of your interest and maybe you can go on 'dates' with a sibling present from each side or something. The benefit of this method is that a spouse comes as a package (their family, especially if you're from a culture like mine where you have a lot of interaction with in-laws and even live with them). In Islam, you are marrying into a family, not just marrying an independent man so you should be aware of the full picture. All the best!

Answer

I met my fella on the internet. There are some websites for Muslims, but I used a regular one, good luck x

Answer

Islamically, a man and a woman alone the third is the shaytan. From my experience and others - for "modern" and "halal" dating: have friends or family set you up with someone or use an app like minder. You should meet in a public space, with a mahram, friend or parents present. of course avoid zinna and make your intentions known. if you don't find a connection, it's best to end things early.

Answer

You can date as long as there is no sexual contact such as kissing and sleeping together. Every Muslim girl I know dated even me that is how you find your match. I would never do arranged marriage though. Just be careful whem you start dating, because some men will try to pressure you to do some sexual things with them just say hell no and move on. A really Muslim brother will respect your wishes if he wants marriage and not just sex. When you find someone you like make sure you take one of your friends with you the first couple times just to safe. Never go to his house, always go out to public places such as restaurants, coffee shops or even the mall. Good luck sister I hope you find your true match!

Answer

Dua dua dua, wholeheartedly and on the times dua is accepted the most :) because dua changes qadr and Allah accepts it if it is good for you. I made a very specific dua, in the sense that I even asked for some characteristics and even a timeframe (that it would happen within a year). Even though I didn't know many practicing muslims, I knew that anything is possible if Allah wants it. He says Be and it is. Long story short, I had my nikah within a year.. :) and it still amazes me how even some specific things of my dua are answered. Keep in mind that even though you do everything as prescribed and there is a backgroundcheck and you ask a million questions, we still won't know what the other person has in their hearts, and what the future holds(something could happen that makes them change in a negative way as a person). Only Allah knows! so keep turning to Him always.

Answer

There's online muslim dating sites. Its an easy way to remove the physicalities and you can set your rules in the beginning. Its easy way to meet people, theres. Theres also events for young muslim women where you meet with others also looking for a spouse.

Answer

dating is allowed as long as there is no sexual stuff. I've heard it's actually supposed to be more like courting and that you should take your parents with you on dates.

Answer

i used to be like you, dont want an arrange marriage.. my parents especially my grandma have set me up with few guys but i rejected it maybe at that time i wasnt ready. then few years later, my uncle ask my dad if he can introduce his nephew to me. i dont know why i think im gonna give it a try.. my parents never forced me. a month later, the parents came to see me. then onlu they gave my number to him and we did text just the two of us but always reminded by our parents just to know each other. then we met first time with my mom and his sister. few months later we got married and im so happy 😍. arrange marriage is not that bad after all ☺

how will i find my husband ?

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