I'll apologize in advance for my swearing in this post.

FYI this will be SUPER long

So my mom and I have never had a good relationship. At no point during my childhood or even teenage years did I ever feel like my mom was loving, understanding, or attentive. To explain, I was always closer with my father. My earliest memories of childhood start around 2 years old and I remember my mom slept all day. Like all day, despite my dad working full time on top of going to school. My twin brother and sister and I were left by ourself the majority of the time, even while they were babies. Like still unable to move by themselves babies.

My mom only seemed to wake up and get dressed and make us food when my dad was home. This continued up until I was 5, when my mom moved us out to California literally overnight without telling my dad or anyone.

During my older years this pattern of being in attentive continued. My mom was completely uninvested in spending time with my siblings and I to the point where we weren't able to do school activities because she didn't want to have to go to practices and concerts, she never went to parent teacher conferences (my teachers always commented on this) and she didn't want my siblings or I near her. I specifically remember trying to tell her about something I thought was cool and she yelled at me that she didn't care.

When I was a teenager I spent most of my time at home. My mom developed a strong mistrust of me and always suspected me of doing something wrong even though I spent all day every day at home in my bedroom reading. She was so extreme with me that she constantly accused me of various things that were completely untrue. Mind you, I never did anything to get in trouble, never skipped a class, never late to school, never did drugs, never had a sip of alcohol.

I got my first job less than a week after turning 18, at which point I was still in high school. My mom had told me she didn't want me walking to work because in weekends I worked at 5 am and she didn't think it was safe. After about a week she asked me to pay her gas money, which I agreed to. At the time I didn't know, but 20$ a week was extremely high for the 4 miles she was driving me a few days a week. She was forcing me to help her pay gas because she was driving my sister to school in another district and she didn't anticipate the cost. Me paying her the $20 a week turned into helping her pay for groceries after she noticed I had bought myself lunches for work. Soon that turned into her taking my whole paycheck because she needed it more than I did.

Shortly after I found out I was pregnant, and I went to live with my boyfriend and his mom, since his job was better paying than mine, and I was working minimum wage and could get another same paying job in his town. My mom didn't say much at first besides trying to convince me to go to college a few hours away and leave the baby with her for her to raise. Neither my boyfriend nor I agreed with this and said no.

She then moved near us. Like 3 doors down from our apartment after we found our own place. She offered to watch my daughter for me so I could go back to work. At first she said that it would be free, she just wanted to help. Just wanting to help turned into us driving her 45 minutes out of town to grocery shop, or making me walk 4 miles to she store for her in 90 degree weather and carrying 4 gallons of water because she didn't want to go.

One day after I got back from work sat me down and asked me if my boyfriend was abusing me or my daughter. It was very out of nowhere. She went on to say that if I wasn't going to stick up for my daughter that she was going to take her and raise her for me.

Mind you at the time this was happening, I was getting concerned about her possessive way of handling my daughter. My mom does this thing when she is trying to intimidate people where she looks you in the eye and tells you what she's going to do or what she thinks is true. She was doing that a lot while telling me my daughter was hers to take care of, which I at first thought came from a grandmotherly place, but started rubbing me the wrong way. My mom was also doing things like telling me she felt like my boyfriends mom was a witch who was going to sacrifice my daughter on Halloween or something like that, or telling me that his family were witches who were sucking my life force and it was freaking me out that she was saying things like that.

So anyways my mom insisted that my daughter had been burned on her arm and that I needed to leave my boyfriend or she was going to solve my problem for me essentially. I took my daughter home, and checked her over, and she had no marks on her at all. She had a birthmark in the spot that my mom had been saying was a burn mark left by my boyfriend ( who was a smoker at he time)

She called CPS. They said they needed to meet with us in our home to talk about some things and they needed to see my daughter and check her for signs of abuse. My boyfriend had to take the night off work in order for them to meet us. They came out, and the guy actually laughed at what my mom said was a burn. She said that the people at the social services office would laugh when he told them about the "abusive" situation my daughter was supposedly in. He told us we had nothing to worry about. We quit speaking to my mom.

After a few weeks of ignoring my mom she walked into my apartment and asked me if my boyfriend was around because she needed to talk to me. I told her to leave my apartment. We got our locks changed. She then sent me an email about how she needed my daughter and she could leave us alone, she calls me all sorts of names and accused me of being a drug addict and told me I was worthless as a mom and that she wouldn't claim me as her daughter.

After about a year I felt my daughter should still get the chance to see her grandma and know her. She said that my sister had offered to babysit my daughter while she was at work so that I could go back to school. Long story short we cut that out because my mom was trying to force me to pay her more than daycares in the area would. She told me that I wasn't part of her family anymore and it wasn't her job to provide for me any longer. and she wasn't taking care of my daughter. I had picked her up twice with an over full diaper, then one day when I came to drop her off my mothers house was disgusting, old food sitting in the kitchen, the bathroom was disgusting and the sink was stained yellow as if someone had urinated in it, and her garbage was over flowing so bad that you'd have had to climb over trash to walk in. I took my daughter home and did not leave my daughter there anymore.

We visited one day when her house was clean (I wouldn't go back if it wasn't) and she mentioned to me that my daughter was pulling at her bottom area a lot. She was potty training at the time and wasn't used to underwear. I didn't think anything of it. My mom offered to take her to the bathroom when she said she had to go. She was excited and wanted to show my daughter the new singing potty she'd gotten for her. After she got back she insisted again that my boyfriend was abusing her, and that he was sexually abusing her.

Now I have been sexually abused in my childhood, I have been raped and my lack of a relationship with both of my parents led me to look for love in places I shouldn't have while I was a teenager. I would never ever in my lowest of low days let my child come close to experiencing that! My boyfriend (now fiancé) has never and I mean never been any type of inappropriate with my daughter or any other child. I even took some time to look up signs of abused children to see if she had any and I firmly believe that she has never been abused.

I have spoke with family members about this whole situation as well. My moms sisters both confirmed that my mom has frequently accused all kinds of people of abusing them (my mom raised her sisters, she was 20 when they were toddlers), and she accused many people of abusing my brother sister and I.

My mom even had many stories of my dads abuse of us, however I came across the court documents from my parents custody case and they did not find truth to my moms accusations and still granted my dad partial custody, to which my mom refused to let him see us anyway.

Recently my mom started up again insisting that she needs to see my daughter and I do not feel comfortable with her coming anywhere near my family. My fiancé (my daughters father) also will not allow her on our property or anywhere near our house. We have even chosen to elope rather than have a wedding as we feel she will disrupt our wedding.

I just cannot for the life of me understand why she is so dead set against the one person in my life to show me what its like to be a family, my fiancé has weathered many a storm with our daughter being conceived super early in our relationship and moving and struggling with money and moving again and PPD and more moves and buying a house and more stress and finding our way.

I honestly just really needed to get this off my chest because I can't believe she's starting this up again. Please tell me I'm not crazy.