You ever feel better after a big, all out ugly cry? I have been so stressed lately in trying to pursue a new position in my job and keep hitting brick walls with management and other staff members and tonight I just had enough. I'm so sick of people thinking I'm not good enough to be doing the job I really want to do. I went and studied and passed a test and have proven I can do the job, but I'm constantly having new hurdles placed in front of me to get this job. I'm Doing parts of the job with no pay and dealing with coworkers who don't like me. Well tonight I had enough. After being yelled at by a coworker for trying to help, I'm done. Most of what makes this mental is that I've always dealt with insecurities and self hatred and feeling like I'm not worth it. No one will ever hate me as much as I hate myself. But tonight, after crying, I decided to stop pursuing it. And the weight is still on my shoulders, but maybe it's just shifted, because I just give up. It's just no longer worth it to fight. And honestly, I should have given up a long time ago.