This is so long, I had no idea I could blab so much 😳

On the 15th of August, my baby was full term: his head was engaged, very low, posterior, and even though I was thinning, I was not dilated at all. I had never planned on getting an induction, but as the days crept by, my pelvic pain and hip separation were getting unbearable (pre pregnancy, I was 5ft 1", and 79lbs).

Reaching breaking point, I caved, and made myself the "Midwives Brew" 🍹.

The Midwives Brew is basically a labor inducing cocktail made of almond butter, apricot juice, lemon verbena tea, and... dun dun dun.. castor oil.

⚠️ I am not encouraging any of you to try this out, this was my last attempt at a natural induction method before going ahead with pitocin. I hear that if your baby is not ready/engaged, then the Brew won't do very much (except maybe give you the shits 💩). At the least, don't attempt this before you're full term, and are given the go-ahead by your doc.

I drank the brew at 11pm.

Contractions started at 1:10am.

I had my bloody show and lost some of my mucus plug at 3:45am, and which point my husband and I hurriedly packed the rest of our hospital bag, and got on our way!

We reached the hospital at around 5:30am, and the nurses got me strapped onto a whole bunch of machines so they could monitor me and make sure the contractions were actually making my labor progress (I was 3cm dilated when they checked me).

When they came back to check me at 7am, I had dilated to 4cm, and the doc had me admitted and upgraded to a bigger room.

At this point I was given the option to walk the halls, bounce on a birthing ball, labor in a hot tub--I did all three, and my contractions got stronger and stronger.

By 5pm, I had dilated to 6cm. My progress was slow, so slow, but just seeing that I was dilating was encouragement enough for me to keep going.

And then I crashed. The pain of the contractions became too much for me. Every time I sensed the start of a contraction, I would cry, because I knew that the next one would be even more painful. So there I was, shaking and crying, and holding onto the side rails of the labor bed.

This went on until 11pm, when I gave up, asked them to turn all the lights off, and turn the sounds of the monitors down. I told my husband to go to sleep because I was "never going to have this baby", and cranked up the volume on my Frank Sinatra playlist.

I lay there for an hour, listening to loud jazz, still having contractions, but almost numbed and bored by how pissing off the whole situation was.

The nurse came in to check me at midnight, I didn't bother saying anything to her. I was so irritated I just spread my legs and let her check my progress. She looked at me wide eyed and said "uhm. You're 10cm dilated, I can feel your baby's head. I'm going to go get your doctor, we're having this baby now!"

Still so numb, I could barely register what she was saying. The team came in then with all their trays, the bright lights went on, and no one turned off the Sinatra.

The whole thing was such a blur. I remember them talking about him having so much hair, and how his ear had just popped out, and how well I was doing. I pushed with everything I had in me, and my baby boy came right out in a rush, with "My Way" blaring in the background 🎶

So I labored for 23 hours

Pushed for half an hour

And had no tearing or abrasions 🙌🏽 (I credit that to the evening primrose oil capsules I had been taking--orally and vaginally--for the week beforehand)

It's been two weeks now, since we met our beautiful little Atticus Cai. Being a mum to this little snuggle cub has been the most overwhelming, scary, and beautiful experience of my life. Mommas out there, i have LOVED being on this glow community with you for the last nine months. I'm praying for all of you, and I'm so excited for you to meet your little buddies! ❤️