I am 32 weeks and 2 days with our 4th baby. 3rd to hopefully bring into the world healthy. This is our first little girl. We lost a little boy a bit past 15 weeks last October, so for the longest time I was on edge with this pregnancy.

Well baby girl seems to be doing alright. But mommy has been very very stressed out. My husband was having issues with his job, mainly he started hating going after nearly 3 years. I offered to try and find a job (stay at home mom here) to help him out. That was a no go. I was told that if I found a job, it would not be worth it because I would end back up in the hospital (mental health issues with stress = history of hospitalizations in the past 4 years). Ok.

Well he ended up leaving work to go to the ER on Sunday night, after having chestpains that lasted 2 days and were beginning to travel up his neck. Luckily it was nothing cardiac related, e.r. thinks it may be the nerves or muscles in his chest wall. They give him a note saying to wait out Monday, and return to work Tuesday. I brought the note in for him Monday, to make sure he was covered. His job did not see it as an excuse for leaving Sunday and not being there Monday. So he ended up "pointing out". After nearly 3 fricken years!

So he is in the worst possible mood, depressed and angry, and being a complete ass. I am trying to stay calm (even though I had been fearing this for months), trying to be supportive of him, but he just lashes out, not blaming me or anything, but one moment he feels useless and doesn't see the point of being around anymore, the next we are over, then we are not over.

We will only get the paycheck this Friday, and have nothing saved up. We are currently buying the mobile home we reside in and selling our old one. Those payments even out. But we need to pay off the taxes before each can be signed over (total about $600) then we have the normal bills, rent for the land we are on, lights, gas, water, insurance, and a car payment. Those total less than $1000 for the month, but that does not include food and gas for our car.

I am trying to put on a good show for our 4 and 7 year old boys, but it is so fricken hard.