Confession, DON'T JUDGE

I never liked holding babies. Friends and family would always hand me their babies and I just didn't know what to do with them. Had no interest in holding them and definately never asked if I could.

Now that I have my son, I'm still kind of the same way. I love to cuddle with him, play with him, feed him, all that.. but to just sit there and hold him? I don't really like it. I don't know why. For the first few weeks I wouldn't put him down just because I was scared shitless something would happen if I did. But now that I'm past that, I'm always putting him in his jumper, bouncer, play mat etc.. or just asking whoever is around if they want to hold him. Like I said, I still pick him up to feed him and play with him obviously, I just feel weird hanging out with him in my arms. Why am I like that? It makes me feel like a bad mom. And sometimes I feel like my mom has caught on to it and judges me for it.