Postpartum Depression

I have postpartum depression and am seeking help. I have weekly visits with a therapist and recently started on antidepressants but they haven’t really kicked in yet. I have good days and bad, usually dependent on the amount of sleep I get. Last night was bad. The baby was up a lot and I got maybe 3 hours of sleep broken up. I was overwhelmed this morning and I know that I wasn’t in the right frame of mind. I started yelling at my husband and then he got mad and called me crazy and a shit mom. Then the told me he didn’t want me to be alone with the baby and he brought him to his moms to watch him while he was at work. I would never hurt my baby and it hurts me that anyone would think I might. Yes, I get frustrated sometimes but I would never harm him. He says I was angry at the baby but I was more angry at myself.

I feel horrible about everything. He later apologized about calling me crazy and said that he is glad I am seeking help. I know that this is hard on him too and I feel awful about being this way. I want to be better for my son. I feel awful that his mom had to watch our baby today because I was too messed up to do it. I feel like everybody hates me.

Anyway, I was just wondering if anybody else felt or feels this way and if you have any advise for me/success stories or overcoming postpartum depression? I want to see some light at the end of the tunnel/I want to be happy again.