Complicated c section requiring general

KD

Due to a large fibroid blocking my cervix and low lying placenta that's been causing bleeding I need to have a c section as going into labour naturally will lead to fatal blood loss. It's taken me a while to get my head round having a section as I wanted a natural birth, but I eventually accepted it was for the best.

I've now been told today that the c section will be a complicated one due to the positioning of the fibroid and placenta and there's a really high possibility of me bleeding out and as such I can't have a local anaesthetic I'll need to go under general. I am absolutely gutted. I can't imagine going to sleep and missing my baby being born, missing his first cry, the first cuddle, gutted that my partner won't be allowed in to witness it either. I worry that waking up and being handed a baby I won't bond with it as it won't feel like mine it could be any baby I'm handed. I know I should be happy that baby's healthy so I have it a lot easier than a lot of people but just totally gutted at not being awake. Has anyone else gone under general? Did you bond with your baby ok and we're you able to breastfeed ok?