my husband and i have been together 7 years and are a couple of months away from our 5 year wedding anniversary. not even 3 months after we were married, i found out that he had been texting a couple other women. i was mortified and never thought anything like this could ever happen to me. i come from a family with a huge divorce history and i thought i needed to stick this out and do everything i could to repair this marriage and not just be another divorce in this family.

let's just say it's been a long almost 5 years. i've suffered immensely, we have our good times and our bad times. but i'm scarred by this. there's not a day that goes by that i don't think about the day i found out about his infidelities. o constantly think he's cheating on me. i'm scared to ask to see his phone again because of what i might find.

we've maybe had sex 10 times this year 😳 we never sleep in the same bed. we work opposite work schedules and never see each other. hardly talk on the phone. he seems so uninterested in me and it kills my self esteem and self confidence. and i think to myself everyday, "what can i do better?"

am i beating myself up here? should i have let go a long time ago? i just really don't know what to do from here. any help would be appreciated. thank you!