Feeling down


I have posted about this many times but if I had a miscarriage. My boyfriend travels for work and I just moved so I was all alone. I was doing much better until I found that my friend and roomie found out that they're both pregnant. It's been hard because my boyfriend wants to wait almost 10 years before trying. I told him about my roomie and friend and all he said was "damn". I tried telling him how it made me feel but he just kind of changed the subject or he would take a long time to respond to me. I'm trying to get better and move on but I just can't help but think "what if". I really want to be a mom and I would everything up for that. My bf says he doesn't want to keep me from achieving my dreams (I'm in school rn) but this is my dream. He promises that we'll eventually have kids but sometimes I feel like I'll never get to experience pregnancy. It's sucks and I can't even talk about it with him😔