Today my boyfriend and I were having VERY VERY rough sex. He flipped me over onto my back and was pounding me really hard and really fast that the motherfucker ACCIDENTALLY SHOVED HALF HIS DICK INTO MY ASSHOLE. I SCREAMED in pain for what felt like the longest and started sobbing. Oh my goodness it was the WORST pain I've EVER felt in my entire life. I immediately start hyperventilating and was on the brink of an asthma attack. I can't catch my breath for the life of me, I'm in so much pain I feel like I'm about to pass out and I can't stop shaking. Eventually I calm down but I'm still crying, still in excruciating pain, my asshole is bleeding and im trying to slow my heart rate before I catch a heart attack or something. My boyfriend has no idea what was going on but then figured it out eventually (I couldn't speak) he had no idea he went inside my asshole! I'm practically traumatized. This happened a couple hours ago (before 6pm) and I feel so hurt. I know for a fact it was an accident but I can't help but feel like he hurt me in an emotional way. It hurt so much I can't help but cry thinking about it. I am a survivor of rape (someone I knew last year), and was sexually abused by my mother's boyfriend for 6 years when I was a child, I was also sexually abused by an older cousin of mine when I was small as well. Why does it feel like I'm reliving my rape trauma when it was completely unintentional. It was the most painful thing my body has ever been through. I have a tear in my anus. If anyone would like to tell me how to treat it that'd be great. I feel like I've been spiritually and emotionally wounded even though it was an accident and was only physical. My boyfriend would never hurt me and feels awful about it. I just don't want him near me right now.