I really don't know where to start .... I sit her eyes red and swollen . I feel.... damn , I don't feel anymore. I'm so depressed. It all started two almost three years ago fast forward to now. Three days ago I was on the floor trying to escape his death grip while my 8 month old little baby boy was on the floor next to me watching everything. My sons father got out of prison just a little over a month ago. To be exact July 26th of this year he was released. And tbh that's when my life changed for the worst.

Let's rewind a little bit why he initially in prison. I was 7 months pregnant. And long story short he beat my ass. Yes , pregnant and all. He was doing pills and I was being emotionally abused as well a physically and emotionally. I kept a journal and wrote down what I could. I was absolutely miserable . I hated myself. I was liking up ways to die without hurting the unborn child inside me.

He would choke me, kick, bite, pull my hair, head butt ,body slam, bang my head against the wall and put me in a headlock. So pregnant and alone I spiraled into a deep dark depression. One day he tried to kick me with his steel toed boots on ,aiming for our unborn child. I blocked his kick, to this day I have a scar on my arm where he did end up kicking me. I called the cops, he went to jail, got out . I told him if he got help and quit the pills and drugs I would stay w him and also speak on his behalf to get his charges lowered. Well he went back to using and abusing me . I got sick of it called his probation officer and had him sent to prison. Now I know what your thinking, he's gone now is a chance to get away.

Well before I got pregnant I was a totally different person. I figured if I could change so could he so I let his sweet talk get to my head I guess and caved in and gave him another chance. So time went on he missed his sons birth , he missed out on 8 months of his sons life also. I was doing great . Time was getting closer to him getting out. I was excited and nervous bc I knew deep down he wasn't going to change but I shrugged off my gut instinct and continued on.

He would call n sweet talk me but I knew that was prison talk but I guess I wanted a father for my son and to be a family no matter what that I foolishly went along knowing there was no good to come from this relationship. I didn't want to give up on him , on us, on our family.

He got out. Everything was fine , at first. He's really trying , doing everything he said he was gonna do. ...... ILL FINISH THIS LATER IF YOU ALL WOULD LIKE BABY IS CRYING GOT TO GO ! STAY TUNED FOR MORE !