Why I don't want kids

My family doesn't understand why I don't want to have kids and ever since I got married the fight over this has gotten much worse.

I have a learning disability that is borderline autistic I'm not actually autistic because I'm to high functioning but I ask my doctor if I can pass this on if I want kids and my doctor said that I can pass it on and that there is a 30% chance that they will have autism or 50% chance of having a learning disability like mine.

I have suffered my hole life feeling stupid and dealing with people that don't understand. I don't want to have a kid go through the same thing I did and hate them selfs because they learn in a different way and every time I'll see them struggle in life I'll blame myself because it would be my fault for them having the disability.

So when I found that out me and my husband both agreed not to have kids of are own but to adopt a child that needs a good home