Long time friendship. Should I end it ? Looking for advice
Hi Glow community,
Lately, I've been thinking a lot about my relationships with the people around me, and if I'm being honest I've been thinking about my relationship with my long time friend for quite a while.
We've been friends for 30 yrs (give or take) , and I've always considered her and her mother more as family. We've had a lot of really good times and memories. So, it pains me to think that I might have to end the friendship or let it fade away.
First let me say that she isn't a bad person. I truly believe she's a good person. She isn't toxic to me, she hasn't lied to me, she doesn't take advantage of me , we haven't gotten into any fights, but she has hurt my feelings. I don't think she intends to hurt me, but it hurts nonetheless. I feel like she can be a jealous person, and her jealousy is what hurts.
I've felt this feeling several times through the years with her when my life changes in a positive way - boyfriends, college graduation, marriage, moving away , and now I think with the birth of my first baby coming up.
I've always tried to ignore, and figured she would come around and be happy for me , and she has.
Through the years we've drifted apart of course, but I've always been the one to manage to stay in touch with her. I've always tried to be a good friend, and keep up with her periodically and see how she was doing. I haven't tried to boast about my success or happiness, and genuinely just wanted to know how she was and update her on how I was.
When I moved out of state, I kept in touch and every time I would come back to visit family I would make a point to hang out with her for a day or at least get lunch/dinner.
The last time I visited was this year, and to be honest I was excited to see her again. Then my father passed away from cancer . My friend knew this because I had told her previously that he was going through chemo. She said she was sorry , but her Mom didn't offer any condolence at all , and I didn't really get the sense from her message that she was offering a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear.
So, when I went to visit this year and I was announcing to everyone that we were having a baby I was afraid how she would take the news ( I.e. Not be happy for me ). Her mother was very happy for us, but as expected my friend was less than enthusiastic. I felt sort of sad, and was a little relieved that they said they couldn't stay longer than a couple of hours ( they had family problems that day ) .
When we found out the baby's gender, we made a video and sent it to everyone. I hesitated sending it to her and her Mom, but her Mom seemed genuinely excited. So, I thought they'd like to know. Their response ? She sent me a smiley emoji and her Mom didn't say anything at all.
When their nephew / first grandchild was born not only did I send a message on social media, but I sent a card and a special handcrafted blanket that I bought with the baby's name. I told them they could keep it at their home for visits with the baby.
She has said in the past that she wanted to stay in contact more, and that she would write more, and I told her I understood because she was busy. And I did understand, and I also felt like she was going through a rough patch in life at one point, and I could understand that too.
So, really I'm lost as to what to do about our friendship. Sometimes I think maybe she wanted our friendship to fade a long time ago and I just never got the hint ?
I haven't updated her on my pregnancy other than the gender, and she hasn't bothered to see how I'm doing . So, I feel like maybe this is it . The end of a long time friendship ? If so, what should I do ? Nothing at all ? Tell her we're breaking up ? I really don't know, but I don't want to get into an argument with her.
Let's Glow!
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