I know that men getting raped is a HUGE taboo around the world, but I think it's time to accept it in some way.

My ex boyfriend, whom I still love but I don't let him know about that, once took a leave home before his deployment. We had plans for a future together and he seemed like he loved me so much, so much to promised he wasn't going to ever cheat on me while deployed. I saw in his eyes he meant it because he was such a sweet guy, it was incredible. I didn't want to be that annoying af girlfriend that doesn't leave her boyfriend alone, he was home so I figured he needed time to have fun and relax before deployment, we were going to have our own days together afterwards anyways. I did noticed he didn't even say "good morning" or called me at night like the first days so I had a feeling he cheated, but he was the only person I felt in peace and in real love with ever. For me, him cheating was almost impossible. Well, 5 min after that assumption I made he called and said "I love you but I did something terrible". He was crying. His friends called me and said he was very sad and that he didn't mean it, that he loved me. When I got to talk to him a little more he told me he was drunk and that the girl was only a friend but he never thought she wanted something like that. It's been about three months and I haven't talked or write to him but I get the feeling that he got raped at some point. He was drunk, so he wasn't conscious, plus what if the girl didn't even care and assumed it was okay since, you know, we all think men just want sex regardless. He was crying when he called me! He obviously didn't enjoy it or was happy enough to not tell me. He seemed hurt like he made the worst mistake. I don't know if I'm just justifying him or not trying to accept that he cheated on me but I recently got "raped" in some way that the first thing after I got home was I wanted to call him, I was crying, I didn't want to tell anyone but him even if we aren't dating anymore. I never thought I was going to get raped, you know?

I am thinking about talking this out whenever he comes back, I wouldn't mind being friends or not; we just never got the chance to talk Face to Face after that and I feel like we need to. I don't know if he still loves me or misses me, but I think he does.

What do you think?