So a couple weeks ago I posted how my husband refuses to Dom me in any way. He straight up told me that. During that conversation, he also told me he sort of liked when I was talking to my ex for like a week years ago when we were just dating cause he likes the idea of sharing me with other people, or watching me with other people. With that in mind- I went on a forum to get advice on how to get my husband to dom me. This guy on there was just looking to talk to me, and somewhere in my mind I got the idea that maybe I could have an online dom, and my husband could be included in our convo so he could get off on that. 4 days later after I decided that the guy was what I wanted from a dom, and i told my husband. 1/2 of him hated the idea of me being with someone else. He thought he wasn't good enough. Then 1/2 loved the idea of me being aroused by someone else, especially since he got to be the one to Actually satisfy me. The insecurities ate at him, so I told him I wouldn't talk to the guy online anymore. So it's been a few days and now we are at a point where he isn't kicking me out, we still love each other, but he wants to just go back to how we were when we dated. Pretty sure my marriage is ruined. My own damn fault I guess. I misinterpreted and now I'm lonely and he's lonely and we can't get back to normal. I deserve the hate I'll get in the comments, but no one hates me more than myself.