For almost 6 months last year, a man at work had been sexually assaulting me. The man was 45 and I was 20. He had been there for a few months, and we became work friends. It first started out as him making inappropriate comments towards me. It moved on to him touching my leg. It very slowly built up over months to him getting forceful and more inappropriate. I kept telling myself that if it got worse, I would tell someone, but every time it got worse, I would tell myself that it wasn't that bad. I was convinced that nobody would believe me because I didn't say anything at the beginning.

The worst it ever got was when I was working on something, and he came up behind me and started feeling me up. He started rubbing my vagina, then he lit his hand down my underwear and started fingering me. I tried to pull away, but he held me there. He held on to me until I had an orgasm. I didn't like it, and I blamed myself for so long because I thought that me having an orgasm meant that i liked what he was doing.

I never consented to any of it. Around Christmas time he stopped. I had told a close friend about it, and she helped me find the courage to stand up to this guy. I didn't report him, but I started yelling and kicking anytime he did anything. I had a boyfriend through the whole thing, and our relationship completely deteriorated. I didn't want to be touched. I felt like I cheated because I didn't tell him. We broke up just after Christmas

Earlier this year I was sexually assaulted by a good friend of mine after we had a few drinks at a bar. I was passed out for over 6 hours, and when I woke up, he was on top of me, naked. We were in his car outside my house (which was a 45-60 minute drive from the bar

. He wasn't having sex with me though. My underwear was pulled down a bit and my dress was pulled up, but my dress and shoes were still on. I called him a couple of days later asking what happened, and he said that we had sex 3 times. I don't remember leaving the bar. people have told me that he carried me from the bar. When I woke up, he told me that I had been awake the whole time, which I knew was a lie, because i could feel myself really slowly waking up. I pulled my underwear up and he moved to the drivers side.

I went inside and he left.

The next day I felt so sick, I couldn't get out of bed. I was in so much pain. I couldn't even eat. I told my brother, who then told my mum. For the whole week I was a mess. I felt like I was having a huge comedown. 1 day after, my mum was taking to me about it, and I asked if I should go to the hospital. I just wanted someone to take me there. I didn't want to go, but I knew I should. She ended up telling me that "this isn't an emergency, they will make you wait for 3+ hours" she also told me that it was too late for a drug and rape test. Over the next few days I tried getting her to take me to hospital anyway, but she didn't. Nearly A week later she took me to our family doctor.

I ended up reporting it to police, and the guy has just been charged.

A couple of months ago the man from work started assaulting me again. It went from him grabbing my boobs, to him grabbing me from behind and rubbing himself on me all in one week, which was much quicker than the last time. I had told someone at work about it, and when it started again, I told my friend at work, that I was going to film the guy, and report it.

I got a weeks worth of footage, and the case is much more stronger than it would have been, without footage.

I just feel so alone through this whole thing. I am having suicidal thoughts, and really strong urges to hurt myself. I don't know how to reach out to people. I'm seeing a counsellor, but I don't think it's helping. Everyone knows about these things, because my mum and dad keep telling everyone, even though I beg them not to. And I just feel so exposed. I'm sorry for making this so long, I didn't want to hurt myself, so I'm trying out venting haha..