So Ive been told by my mom that I had my first panic attacks when I was like 4ish when my mom and dad separated..

⏭Fast forward to about middle school I noticed that I had major depression on and off for years. There also would be times where I would be with my family laughing and within a SPLIT second-LITERALLY-I would instantly start crying out of nowhere.

Then I started developing sleeping problems (around high school) like sleep paralysis, chronic nightmares, waking up with anxiety attacks.

Now with my anxiety attacks they are very hard to explain and I don't know if something is wrong with me because no one ive explained it to understand. So when i have an anxiety attack my entire sense of touch is delayed....yes like A LOT. It feels so off like it feels like Im on drugs, it makes me shake and it feels so horrible I cannot touch anything, not any fabrics, cant even sit or lay down, i have to get out of bed if it happens at night because touting makes it worse. It makes me feel like Im not on this planet... I cannot explain.

Different things trigger my anxiety and panic attacks still and idk what to do. I still deal with depression, i am going through depressed currently. I have chronic nightmares every night and i am not exaggerating, literally every night i go to bed it is NEVER a good dream, cant remember the last time i had a good one. Its always scary, sad, and makes me wake up in panic.

What is wrong with me? There's so much...

PS: (Some family history) my sister has extreme depression and anxiety worse than me and is diagnosed with Alexithymia as well. She cant even leave the house anymore..