I have no amusement over much as of late and I always feel like I'm forgetting something. Also in the back of my mind I feel as if someone is judging me. I want no attention and all the attention at the same time. But I only want attention from my boyfriend. My mind is in a million places all at once. I feel like I tell people too much nonsense just to make noise. I feel like when I tell stories they end awkwardly without a point and I find myself blabbering rather than talking. When others talk to me It's not that I don't care it's just that I'm incapable of listening. I physically cannot pay attention. I want to listen I want to be involved but I can't. My mind won't let me. It's telling me instead to itch my head ten times and pick and the bumps and the flakes. It's telling me to check my Instagram every minute. I re open and close all of my apps in order from snap chat to Instagram to Facebook over and over again in that order. I look at the same suggested feed over and over with nothing new but my mind is trapped in an on going crisis of order. Picking and picking and itching and watching and talking and watching and scrolling scrolling itching scrolling. Always moving always in a million places.