I always want myself to be better. I'm going crazy! I always obsess other girls and this has happened SO MANY TIMES.

I know this is not jealousy bcs I get obsessed with them once someone pointed them out or make me notice them.

First time was when my best friend had a crush on this girl. I didn't hate her but became soooo obsessed. I found myself collecting her pictures and my heart kinda burns because she was so pretty! I know I was not in love with my best friend but I always pretend to ask him to show their pics together just so I can have HER picture.

I thought I was crazy but when he stopped crushing on her my obsession stopped too.

Next, a friend of mine told me about his ex gf and I was obsessed with her as well. Same thing, screenshot every pic of her stalk her ig/fb a few times a day, know EVERY single activity she does. I even made a fake account to follow her instagram and follow HER friends so that I would see more pics of her. I'm not obsessed with her anymore though.

Now, there's this guy who kinda likes me but close to this one girl. I'm currently SO OBSESSED with her. Same thing again. I'm always desperate for her new pics.

I find myself comparing myself to them sometimes or admiring them (idk which). I would open their pics and stare at them for hours. I get so nervous if I haven't checked their social media in one day and I would be DESPERATE to know more.

THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS.

Sometimes I want to be like them. At first I find them not that pretty but overtime I kinda see them as a goddess. I would change myself to be like them. But other times I would say to myself that I'm way better than them. Or be depressed if they're so pretty.

What is wrong with me. Help me!