I've been in an abusive relationship for three years.

It did not start this way. but four months in he developed schizophrenia and he loses control and blacks out.

He's knocked me out, choked me out, left bruises all over my face and body, put me in the hospital.

I didn't at first, but I would fight back and defend myself after a couple months of this and we entered a TOXIC cycle. We ended up breaking up for six months, I got on meth with my best friend's brother, went through a huge hoe fest, finally got sober for about four months and then he and I got back together. We'd worked on ourselves and we did well for a couple months, despite the fact I relapsed and he did it with me. Then it started again, but rarely. Only when he had flare ups and so we started working on sobering up because I figured meth was NOT going to help. Now I'm four months pregnant, we're both sober, he has a job, and despite us still being legally homeless we are headed in the right direction. We still have huge fights but they don't get physical. We have more good days than bad. And he wants this baby, he wants us both. I'm 19 weeks and he is in love with our tiny martian. I just worry about things going south again. Things have been harder than they ever were for us since I got pregnant. and we've been bettering ourselves and our relationship regardless. but the fear is still there.