I hate today.

I hate today.

I hate being pregnant.

I hate the pain and discomfort.

I hate my body.

I hate being emotional.

I hate the yelling, screaming, and crying.

I hate my fiancé.

I hate my kids.

I hate my job.

I hate my house.

I hate being unable to eat, sleep, or poop.

I hate having to pee all the time.

I hate everything today.

But I promise I will love it all tomorrow.

Things will get better.

I will get better.

Today I hit 31 weeks.

My anxiety is killing me and I've gotten so depressed. I'm a disaster and in a fuck everyone mood, no matter how kind or sweet they are. I know I'm emotional but I don't know how much more I can tolerate. I'm just over all of it.

My fiance and I fought for most of yesterday. It's been resolved but I'm still hurt. My 5 year old is still blaming me for her bio dad's sudden absence. My 2 year old is a sweet & happy as can be but I don't like being around her because I'm so sad.

I don't have anything to worry about. We're safe, fed, and usually happy. I have everything I could possibly want. But I'm still a wreak.

I just want to go back to bed and restart.