I've always been pretty independent and when people would ask me to hook them up with my friends I don't get offended or anything and I'll help them out. But I'm 17 now and I've never been on a date or had anyone but old (like one foot in the grave old) men that I'm not attracted to approach me. My first (and last) kiss was with a friend of mine at a party. We were in a shisha/ hookah train and she kissed me- I wasn't attracted to her in that way. I just moved to a different country and started at a new school and I thought It'd be a new start but it's still the same shit. Honestly at this point it doesn't hurt because I'm used to it it's just a little sad. (Like those lonely people in movies sitting on the curb in the rain while cute couples literally float by.)

I just wanted to get that off of my chest because I'm tired of pretending it's all good all the time and I feel like I'm a little too young to decide I'm going to die alone- that sounds just a touch over dramatic