I feel like I need to write my experience.to talk to someone who's been there.

We were so so excited for our first little baby, I've always wanted to be a mummy and was over the moon when we found out we had conceived first try. Moving to a new home too and all seemed to be going perfectly for once this year. I've had just a horrible time with my grandad and dad both passing away within 6 months of each other which I'm still grieving as was so recently, and although I was devastated that they wouldn't be here to see us bring up our baby and buy our home, it was lovely to feel that finally we had amazing news to look forward to! We would've conceived days after my dad passed away so we felt like it was a gift from him.

We went for our first scan on Monday at 12+3 weeks but straight away I know something was wrong, I could see anything except for black I knew I should see baby. she did an internal, and there it was our teeny tiny baby, I knew it was too small and it hadn't grown. Absolutely devastatingly there was no heartbeat. She kept going to try and focus on it properly and get a measurement and as she was doing this, there was another little one sitting there, I was so shocked but I thought (still crying and grieving my first) that maybe this one was ok, but deep inside I knew it was way too small and instead of beans I should be seeing fully formed babies. So again really struggling, she tried to focus on them both for stills and measurements. Another minute or so passed and to my amazement there was a third little baby, ever so slightly bigger, sitting there in the same sac. She confirmed this was identical triplets, but within the same breath confirmed none of them had heartbeats and they had grown to 8 weeks. I was heartbroken and couldn't stop crying. We were sent to another hospital to confirm with a 3D internal scan, holding on to some tiny amount of hope but it was confirmed! All 3 of my beautiful little natural miracles weren't alive. I was explained the next step options and I chose to try for it to happen naturally. It would be about 3 and a half weeks since they died and I don't know how long to wait . They provisionally booked the procedure for next Friday in case but I can push that back if I want to. They have advised against the tablet and the operation because of it being triplets so there's a greater risk of stuff being left behind or tears and wholes to occur with the suction. I'm now looking into having acupuncture which helps your body to realise it isn't pregnant anymore, which with such high hormone levels, I assume may take longer. So I'm looking into that and wondering if anyone else has had it done. We're heartbroken and feel like can't cope with much more devastation this year or ever. It's horrible waiting as although I take a small amount of comfort in that I'm still carrying my babies, mainly it just feels horrible and I want it over with so I can start to grieve properly. Thanks ladies