For back story.. When I turned 15 my sister (32 or so) came to live with us. She was having a hard time at work, thought people were following her, thought people were trying to sell her. Eventually she couldn't pay her rent. Her car got repossessed. So she moved in with us. We had a full house, 4 bedroom and all were being used so she shared with me. Her stuff in my room, her sleeping in bed with me (I have a twin sized matress) so I got to hear a lot of her ramblings. In my health class we were going over schizophrenia and I recognized this in my sister.. I advocated for her constantly to my parents and siblings trying to make them understand her.. There were quite a few events to happen including one night where she stood over my parents and kept repeating "they're trying to fry my brain" while she was smiling. My sister lost her health insurance so my dad offered to pay fully for her to see a psychiatrist so she could be evaluated and get the medications she would need. She didn't fully talk to the person I think because they tried giving her antianxiety medication... She took all of them and my mother noticed.. She said she had just wanted to be able to sleep.. She was put in the hospital for 2 weeks.. Rediagnosed her with depression and PTSD.. Still the wrong thing.. She still lived with us.. over the course of the next 5 years or so she would have angry outbursts, she only ate 3 days out of the week because "the voices told her to".. She had good days and then she had bad days where she would get mad and throw things. She never hurt us but damaged our home and I soon became afraid of her. Also during this time she got a new job, my dad bought her a car that she later tried to sell for money even though she was supposed to pay him back.. I had to physically put myself in her way to keep her from doing certain things that would get her in trouble (literally turning my dad's stereo up so loud I could hear it down the street while i walked from the bus station) or things that would be harmful to us all (she almost started a grease fire in the kitchen because she wanted to bake while drunk and it was 12am).. She finally got on meds that seemed to work for her. She started seeming like my big sister again.. And then she brought a man home.. My parents one rule: no unmarried sex in the house. They argued, came to an agreement that if she did that again, she would have to find somewhere else to live. The very next day she did it again. She was then out of the house. I thought id maybe start feeling safer and since she was getting better she would be just like how she used to be. No.. She went off of her medication, moved in with her new boyfriend and used her key to get into our house whenever she wanted. She would steal from us, but never admits to it even when she's found out because her mother (she's technically my half sister) used to tell her "you never have to ask" so in her mindset that applied to anyone in her family now. My parents were arguing over her still having keys because my dad saw it as "our other two children who are out of the house still have keys so it wouldn't be fair to take them just from her". She started coming over only when me or my brother were home or when none of us were and she would be there frequently.. One day she was over and she really scared me so I found our house key set on her keyring and I took them off (my parents never actually gave her these keys she took our spare set for when we would lock the door at night). I was terrified my mom and dad would be mad at me.. I told my mom and she thanked me for doing that because she was worried and didn't know how else to get them back from her. My sister came over the next day and asked me if I took them and I lied because I was afraid of what she would do. For a while my brother and parents would let her in the house when she knocked, I always pretended to not be home. She started asking my dad for money for her rent and would take whole bags of food without asking anyone for them. My dad finally said "I'll take you grocery shopping but I'm not giving you money anymore" and soon she quit her job and eventually got evicted (all of the crazy shit still happening in the meantime) and the day of her eviction, no one was home, it was dark and all the doors were locked except our side door to the garage. She found her way inside and was there. I kept telling her she needed to leave, my parents understood how nervous I was around her and started to see how sneaky she was being and told me and my brother she was no longer allowed inside without at least one of them home. She was informed of this as well. So when I started telling her she needed to leave she started yelling about how it was her room, she gets to live there and she'd hurt me if I didn't leave. My brother came home shortly and helped me get her out. I was shaking, crying and having, what I've learned now to be, a panic attack. It wasn't long until we stopped letting her in the house at all and anything she needed would be handed to her at the door. She stored stuff on the side of our house and so my dad told her "call if you need anything and I'll help you get what you need after work, you are not allowed in the backyard or in the house anymore". I thought she'd respect that. But no she'd hang out in our backyard and wait for us to come home, tried sleeping on the side of our house (we didn't let her move back in) so the gate got locked. She still climbed the fence, tried all the doors every single time she would come over. My once safe house now started feeling like a prison.. She's always tried to have a "daddy's girl" personality around my dad and mom but she turns into a monster around me.My mom gave her food whenever she saw her and she still stole whenever she could from us and then insults me when she tries to get her way and I say no saying she has to wait for mom or dad, yelling and screaming all kinds of awful things to me. I've had to call the police on her so many times now because she started pulling the screens off our windows and getting in that way or when she couldn't do that she'd be going through my dad tools and supplies and the boxes of my passed grandmothers boxes we keep. She tries to sell off any thing of ours she can get her hands on. We started getting phone calls from retail shops talking about her theft. My dad got her so many phones during this time so that she could have a way to get help if she wanted it, he got her a bus pass. He tried doing anything to get her back on her feet again and she just wouldn't. She became too far gone to really speak to anymore. There was literally no rational train of thought ever. The few times she got put under "mandatory 72 observation" she always got out early because she "was deemed as not a threat to herself or others". It was always a load of shit to me.. She wouldn't help herself, wouldn't take the help given and wouldn't be honest enough when help tried to still come through.. She's been in and out of jail now, my dad got her on disability because he didn't want her to live on the streets or go hungry but she uses it on booze and weed, weed which according to my now college classmates who are studying to become psychologists tell me actually makes her condition worse...So because of that we stopped giving her food too because dad said she has ways to buy it herself now.. While in jail she finally got her right diagnosis. Schizophrenia. However any time she gets out, is on meds, she goes off them and goes back to live exactly how she did before... She was just now in jail for almost 2 months, she is supposedly required to go to rehab (been told to before but she always just leaves and goes back to the streets and back the way she was) this time the judge says either she goes 6mo to 1 year or she goes in jail for 2 years. My dad is the only one who has seen her so far.. Says she put weight on (she was anorexic from the whole only eating 3 times a week) and sounds relatively sane. This has happened before however.. I can't let myself hope for a good change because literally everytime i see her I start having a panic attack and she always always always does something to go back to exactly how she was. I know this is a mental illness and it's serious.. I just don't know what else can even be done for her... I catch myself thinking sometimes "if you were dead, we wouldn't be so scared and you wouldn't have to be crazy anymore" I hate feeling this way towards my sister but idk how I'm even supposed to handle anymore my of this.. I'm anymore I'm a young adult now and I am terrified of someone I used to adore with all my heart and wishing them to be out of my life eternally and i just.. I hate myself for that...