My mother 😑

I am so upset with my mom right now. Not only are we having giant family issues, but I just realized how much she ruined my childhood. She had my sister and I so convinced that our grandparents (her parents) were so awful while we were growing up. I remember I actually liked my dad's mom a lot more but it was because I believed my mother. Now that I am grown up and don't live with my mother anymore I realize that my grandparents are the absolute best!! My grandma is literally my very best friend!! I love them so so much! I hate my mom for not letting me have this relationship with them while growing up! I don't think I am going to be able to function when one or both of them pass away. My dad's mom, my grandma, just passed away a year ago and I'm really struggling without her. That has made my relationship with my moms mom grow and become stronger so it will be even harder to loose her!! I just wish I could go back and have this relationship earlier!!