So Monday we found out that I have cervical cancer and let me just say I was very uneducated about it so if I sound dumb forgive me. Anyways, I was heart broken to find out and then my heart broke even more when I asked if I'll still be able to have my third after the treatment is over and I got a big fat no.

Obviously the doctor said it in a nicer way, but I just feel so bad. God has blessed me with two amazing , sweet, handsome little boys and I love them so much but I really wanted just one more little one and so did my husband. Yes, I know adoption or getting a surrogate is an option. I will consider one of those later but is it selfish of me to feel depressed because I wanted to carry the baby myself? Is it selfish that I'm worrying more about not having a baby then I am about my cancer? I have so many mixed feelings right now, I don't even know what to think about anymore. 😔💔