Today was his due date

I had two missed abortions, no children so far. Today was the due date of my second baby and I just can't seem to be able to get over them. In my mind they were already in my arms, they were already my children. I could envision our whole future. I can't let go. I can't forget them. I can't bear the thought of getting pregnant again because of it. I'm 30 years old and I've always dreamed of having children but the loss is too excruciating. And I feel alone. Nobody feels their loss. Everybody's forgotten.