Fingers crossed I have my little miracle ❤️

I'm pregnant with my 5th baby, unfortunately for me I've had 4 previous miscarriages. The symptoms I am getting with this baby are unbelievable, nausea, minor cramps, minor back aches and cravings which I am actually so thankful for as it is giving me hope!! I never felt this with my other Angels.. This morning I've had a little panic as I have had a really light, brown discharge.. My midwife said its a normal thing as implantation is happening. I pray to god that this baby will be my little miracle ❤️

Any ideas on why I am not able to hold as I haven't had any sort of proper check ups?