not know

well foind out my sister is pregnant eith her 3 child im so happy for her put on the other hand makes me just wont to cry and wounder why I cant have kid or anything she didnt even wont to be a mom.and no she is one of 3 thats the one thing in the world I wont just really dont no how to make my self happy anymore just wont to lock my self.in a room and never comeout I no I shouldn't be up set but this just has got me down bad.I ask her if she could not handle all of them can I be mom to one she just looked at me like I was stupid it was a crazy thing to ask I wont to me a mom why cant god end all my suffering and just give me a child