I'm lonely (cliche)

My heart is beating rn and I feel like I don't need to alive at this moment. I try to be grateful and think of the things I'm fortunate to have. I'm a junior in highschool, and I have around 1 genuine friend, the rest are people who I barely see or converse with. This one friend though is almost like not my friend. They always leave me , or do things without me. I guess I should find some other people but it's almost as if kids at school don't want more friends. And I personally can't tolerate the majority of kids there. I'm writing out my current thoughts, I pray this improves