HELP! How do I stop thinking about ttc? 😭

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... My resultat from my doctor did come back all fine. I have been ttc for two years and there is still no reasons why I can’t get pregnant.

So I have decided to take a ’’break’’ this month from ttc & all about baby thoughts. Both my friends and my doctor did say that it will be easier to convince when I am not thinking so much about it. Even if it is really hard, I am still trying. I did allow myself to start to smoke & drink on the weekends on this ”break” to be able to cheat on my brain to make it think that it will be hopeless to try for this month.

Realizing now that the only hopeless thing is how I think because I can’t get it out from my head no matter what I do. + I see pregnant women EVERYWHERE, and I am happy for them and love how blessed they are but I am so sad/angry for me.

I hope that you was able to understand my bad english. I come from europe and use english as a second language.