Abused behavior?? **TW*
Sorry it's anonymous, I'm a bit embarrassed.
*might be triggering ***
Recently I've been learning here and there behaviors of people who were abused in the past. And I've noticed that I have a lot of those behaviors.
For the longest time I wouldn't let people hug me, and I still only hug a few people.
It took me a very long time to show affection.
I used to flinch anytime anyone would touch me.
I'm not entirely sure if these are behaviors, but I've heard snippets here and there.
I've been trying to remember if I ever had anything happen to me... but I can't remember a whole lot of my childhood.
Some things I do remember..
I was about five and I was in the bathroom with my cousin. He was forcing me to kiss him but I didn't want to. I just remember being in there and wanting to get out..
And I remember my sister telling me that some of my other cousins had found me and my other cousin under a bed one time. I don't know exactly what happened there. I don't remember much else, and I doubt I'm the one that forced the things to happen. I'm very confused and not sure what to do. I cant afford therapy. I've been thinking about this a lot and don't feel comfortable telling anyone.
I just wanted to know if it's maybe possible I could have been "abused" or something.
Maybe I'm just overreacting.
😕
THANK YOU TO EVERYONE. IM SO SORRY YALL HAVE EXPERIENCED THE SAME THING. BUT YOU HAVE ALL HELPED ME
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