Miscarriage from Turners Syndrome

June 21st I went for my 20 week check up and when I seen my baby but didn't hear her heart beat, I didn't want to believe the obvious, there had to be something wrong with the audio. My heart was completely broken! To suddenly stop hearing the most beautiful sound, tore me apart. Scarlette had Turners Syndrome. Instead of having both X chromosomes, she had an X and an O (XO) Without the 2nd X, she wouldnt of been able to have babies of her own due to lack of hormones. Apart of that, women carrying TS babies normally dont go full term due to fluid build up in and around the babies neck. Nothing could of been done to prevent it nor stop it from growing, it could of stopped growing on its own, but once so much already builds up, its too late. and that's what drove me crazy! I always knew there was a chance that It could of gotten worse like it did. But I couldn't give up on my baby girl! The next day I delivered Scarlette Reign Pittman at 12:50am, she was 14.9oz and 7 inches. she was so small yet so beautiful! She had the cutest little fingers and toes! her daddies eye brows and my nose 😭 we held her for 2 hours and giving her back to the nurse was so hard! crying and staring at her lifeless little body still haunts Me! I miss being pregnant! this was my 2nd miscarriage, 1st one was at 5 weeks. I am absolutely terrified of getting pregnant again! to go through 2 miscarriage in 1 year was unspeakably painful! I want nothing more than to have the family I've always wanted, but I don't know if I can go through something like that again! I'm just breaking out of my depression! And I don't know if it's my mind playing tricks on me, but I'm starting to feel those pregnancy symptoms again, at least I think I Am! I know I should take a test or make an appointment, but I also just got off of my period which is why i think I'm going crazy! But I'm so scared! I want to be happy If I am, but I'm not emotionally ready for that again, but I'm also 100% against abortion, so I'm scared of possibly losing another baby this time due to stress caused by myself and then I would never forgive myself! 💔 eventually I'll be ready again but I'm still just so heartbroken