am so confused... I like this guy. A lot. He’s actually the perfect guy. Like, he’s the embodiment of the guy I always dreamed of, even when I was little and loved Disney princesses and thought that’s what I prince should be like and that’s who I’ll end up with. He is kind, honest, adorable, has the best sense of humor, and has respect for others. He’s never judged me for anything. He is trustworthy, and he is trusting of others.

I’m so happy around him. He gives me hugs and tells me I smell really nice, we recommend music and tv shows to each other and we seem to like the same kind of things. He loves music and cooking food just like me. We call each other Lilo and Stitch.

I just don’t know if I should keep talking to him in a flirty way. Recently (as in less than a year ago) I started identifying as bisexual/queer. I had just gotten out of an unhealthy (also straight) relationship that I’d been in for over a year. I was in high school so, i hadnt really had an opportunity to explore my sexuality before then. But after the breakup, I did explore (at band camp of all places), and, trust me, it’s not a phase and I definitely like boobs.

After that, I started questioning my picture perfect future. If I could be with a woman. Or a man. If I could fully commit to either. If I could even handle committing to anybody after so much emotional and physical damage I had experienced in the past year and a half. I decided that, well, I really don’t know. I figured I would keep experimenting for a while, have friends with benefits, be young and have fun (safely).

But then this guy comes along. And suddenly I have no control over my feelings, and I realize I have no control over anything, and I’m afraid to be some dependent on someone again, and I’m afraid to never be with anyone again, and I’m afraid to be with anyone. I’m afraid to hurt anyone. To disappoint anyone.

And of course, this perfect person comes around at the time when I’m the least ready. I’m just trying to figure out... what is the universe throwing at me?