should I give up?


I recently reconnected with my ex husband after 5 years. our breakup was mutual because we both lost sight of our relationship and were acting resentful towards each other. we both said things. anyways I've been talking to him for 3 weeks now and it's literally like we never left each other. we've been best friends since high school and we both consider each other our soulmate. since talking to him again I can't get over that I'm still in love with him. like head over heels. he loves me too but I hurt him bad and he doesn't want to be together but his reactions say otherwise. he always brings up our past and days he misses it and us and says I'm his soulmate and he loves me and will always be here for me but then says he can't be with me. we have forgiven each other for the past and moved on but idk if there's a future or if I should wait. He's going through a lot right now with a recent diagnoses of schizophrenia and trying to balance meds he has episodes where he believes demons talk to him and remind him of his past and how he treated me and he says he never wants me to see him like that. I tell him I'm not scared and want to be there for him. I'm not sure if I really hurt him to where he won't try again or he's just afraid of pushing me away with hid mental struggles. we had a similar experience in high school where he was too scared to date in fear of ruining the relationship. I just can't tell if he's really over me and just sees me as his best friend only or if he's pushing me away so I don't get hurt. do I give up on a chance of us or have faith? btw, twist... I'm married to a man who knows I only see him as a friend still (he chased me for years and I gave him a chance hoping I'd get stronger feelings. I do love him just not nearly as much as my ex. I feel we belong together and my hubby knows this and used to be ex's friend when we were married; how we met; so he understands and is ok if we end back up together.) and my ex just went through a breakup where he loved her and his girl left him for drugs which has made his demons come out more and he's suicidal so he's having a really hard time. don't judge the situation, just wanna know if you think ex will ever wanna give it another shot or if it's really over. (yes my life is complicated but all parties involved are 100% aware of everything and ok with any outcome aside from ex being wishy washy about his true feelings.)